As I’ve been taking the time to re-imagine and re-create this blog the past few days, I keep coming across the word failure. It’s not that I feel this new venture is going to dive-bomb me in to ridicule and laughter, but there’s just a sense of the unknown, fear of putting myself out there. Not wanting to fall short.
One of my biggest struggles is that there never seems to be a sense of completion; especially with my long-term goals. Sure, I just trained for and ran my first half marathon and I planned and executed (with the help of many) my dream wedding. But those were short-term goals. Things I could plan out and complete in a short[er] time period. Stuff like pursuing photography as a business venture or choosing to write continuously and about tough topics; that’s where I fall short. Never settling on one for too long before jumping back to the other. But then I think about it. Failure. Fear. The true reasoning behind why I often just dip my toe in; completely afraid to jump.
I often spend my hour-long car rides to work (yes, you read that correctly) listening to meditations; specifically those by my fave yogi/meditation guru/warrior , Ceasar F. Barajas. Lord knows we’re all better off having our sympathetic nervous systems calmed by him when people are continually cutting you off in traffic. At any rate, one of my current favorites of Ceasar’s meditations is called ‘Passion Project’. In it, he describes his favorite saying: “I never lose; either I win, or I learn”. I’ve heard it several times, in many of his meditations, but for some reason this week, it struck a chord.
Maybe it’s because the older I get, the more I realize you can’t go wrong if you follow your heart. I can “win” and things may turn out great, or I can struggle and learn from it. Which brings me to this. I’m going to try my damndest to blog continuously, writing about my accomplishments and imperfections with honesty and humor. I hope you enjoy the journey.
And tell me, what’s one thing you fear? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fall short?